You may be in a redneck bar if...

You may be in a redneck bar if the jukebox only takes Confederate money.

I'm So Ashamed

My oldest daughter was arrested late last week. It seems that she and a few of her frizzy-haired friends were implicated in the kidnapping of the photographer who was hired to take yearbook pictures at their high school.

To the best of my knowledge it went down something like this:

If you remember, last week was very rainy because our weather was being influenced by Tropical Storm Ernesto. Despite Herculean efforts in front of the mirror, Kate was having a bad hair day as she prepared to leave for school. She met some of her friends in the parking lot and, as you can see from the police photos, these girls were having coiffure difficulties as well.


Due to the unusually humid atmospheric conditions no device or spray known to man was able to tame these frizzies. (I purposely omitted my daughter's image with the hope that she may one day be able to put this all behind her and attend beauty college).

Kate and her friends were just about resigned to the fact that they would have to settle for a "no picture available" graphic in the yearbook when they happened upon the photographer unloading his equipment in front of the school. I'm not clear about what happened next, but there was no one to take pictures in the cafeteria when the first student arrived for his picture appointment. The principal initiated a search of the campus, but picture day was cancelled. Bound and gagged with rolls and rolls of 35mm film, the photographer was later discovered in the girls bathroom across from the art room.

Chalk it up as another storm-related tragedy. I only hope we can all learn a lesson here. Let's skip the defibrillators which may or may not ever be used. Instead we should be looking into a program that provides dehumidifiers in the classrooms.