I want to suck your blood

Megan, my 14-year-old, has taken an alarming interest in vampires. Like many of her peers she has read all of the Twilight books and was first in line to see the movie. I know it's just one of those teenage fads, but I worry that she no longer enjoys my grilled tofu burgers.

Maybe it's just my prejudice coming to light. I grew up in Florida, the sunshine state, so goth never really played that well when I was in high school. Isn't that what these vampires are, the ultimate goths? They stay up all night, sport pale complexions and dress all in black.

What if Megan brings home a vampire boyfriend someday? How do I deal with that? I mean, I understand raging teenage hormones, but I don't know anything about bloodlust. Is there such a thing as chastity collars?