Is there any hope for me in my pursuit of happiness?

I was out and about around lunchtime today and I found myself all in a
panic. It seems that there was a run on gasoline because of hurricane
Ike. Lines were forming all over town and there were even places that
required police assistance to direct the overwhelming traffic. It
reminded me of the '70s.

Maybe the insanity was justified, but I decided to treat the whole mess like a North Carolina snowstorm. Whenever there is the slightest threat of wintry weather, the good citizens of our fair city go mad to get bread and milk. If you wind up at the store too late, all you'll find is a stale package of whole wheat hamburger buns and a leaky carton of soy milk.

What is up with those items anyway? Don't people realize that the only thing you can make with milk and bread is milquetoast? I may go to the store before a snowstorm, but I'm in caveman mode, hunting down the canned chili, frozen hot wings and the heartier varieties of Chunky Soups.

So, although I found myself in the throes of a city gone mad for petrol, I managed to keep my cool. That is, until I saw the line at McDonald's. It was wrapped around the entire parking lot. People were honking and cursing; it was a madhouse. I started to get worried because it was my intention to get a Big Mac for lunch and these nutjobs were in the way.

I'm no social anthropologist, but I think it was all a carryover effect from the gas lines. If fuel is in such short supply, what's next? Better get that last McFlurry before Armageddon destroys all remnants of civilization. Well, I have to admit that I was swept up in the community freak-out and jumped in that McDonald's line.

After a mere 40 minutes in the drive-thru I had my Big Mac and Super-Sized Fries. By the time I fought my way out of the parking lot I had a revelation. The swarming frenzy that I had just escaped was simply the peak of the lunch hour rush and yes, it's true, the McRib is back, but only for a limited time.