You, you light up my shrubs...

Why do people feel the need to put their landscaping on display at night? I suppose the simple answer is aesthetics. It looks good.

If I were a part of the upper class, I might understand this phenomenon, but at my current station in life, I can only provide a very long list of expenditures that would have to come way ahead of ambient landscape lighting. Even the cost of the electricity to power such displays is beyond my reckoning.

If you take a minute to stare at one of these yards one night, eventually the visual effect comes into question. I mean, what is the point of shining 200 watts of glare at the underside of a Dogwood? Are we to assume that the shrubs and trees are on stage in some sort of floral burlesque? It's all sort of obscene, threatening healthy botanical sensitivities.

I'm worried that we need to investigate this issue a little further. Rich folks are different from you and I. Perhaps these yards are actually set up with landing lights for mutated flying squirrels training to take over the world. Remember the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz? I'm pretty sure the Wicked Witch was well-to-do, living in a castle and all.

My saner acquaintances will likely point out that I am motivated here by the classic sour grapes syndrome. That is entirely possible. The truth is, even if I had the lighting, I'm not sure my shrubbery measures up.